Bazzlewick 'Bazz' Gold-Grinder — The Auditor of Shackles

Ability Scores

STR

14

+2

DEX

10

+0

CON

16

+3

INT

12

+1

WIS

12

+1

CHA

16

+3

Combat

Armor Class: 18; Bronze Plate Armor
Hit Points: 49; Hit Dice: 5d10
Initiative: +0
Speed: 25 ft.
Proficiency: +3
Passive Perception: 11

Attacks

Audit Hammer+51d8 + 2 bludgeoning

Javelin+51d6 + 2 piercing

Personality

He speaks with the calm, rhythmic cadence of a seasoned accountant, often using mercantile metaphors to describe morality. He never raises his voice, even in a tavern brawl, and has a habit of checking his pocket watch when someone is lying.

Ideal

Fair Exchange. Value must be met with equal value; anything else is theft, whether committed by a thief or a king.

Bond

My Great Ledger. It contains the names of every person I have freed from debt, and I will not let a single soul be re-shackled.

Flaw

He is intensely pedantic about terminology. He might pause mid-combat to correct an enemy's grammar or the legality of their 'right to challenge'.

Backstory

Born into the opulent depths of the Gold-Grinder Mining Conglomerate, Bazzlewick was raised to view the world as a series of balance sheets. As a Prince of the Deep Tunnels, he spent his youth perfecting the 'efficiency' of labor. However, the epiphany that shattered his world didn't come from a sermon, but from a ledger. While auditing a 'Standard Indentured Agreement' for a local hamlet, Bazz realized the interest rates were mathematically designed to ensure the debt could never be repaid—a literal, legal shackle that bound generations to the dark. He watched as his father signed the order to seize a widow’s last goat for a debt of three copper pieces. In that moment, the 'divine right' of the conglomerate felt like a blasphemy against the very concept of value.

Bazzlewick did not spark a bloody revolution; he did something far more terrifying to his kin. He walked into the Great Vault, used his royal signet to authorize the immediate cancellation of every predatory debt in the district, and then melted the signet ring in a forge. He left the mountain with nothing but his armor and a massive, leather-bound journal. He realized that true sovereignty belongs to the individual, and that any contract which robs a soul of its agency is an affront to the cosmic order.

Now, Bazzlewick wanders the surface world as a knight-clerk. He views 'Law' and 'Chaos' as mere tools, caring only for the sanctity of Fair Exchange. To Bazz, a bribe is just a non-traditional tax for freedom, and a sword is just a heavy pen used to cross out names in a slaver's manifest. He carries a heavy warhammer, but he prefers his charcoal pencil—after all, a rewritten contract can free a city more effectively than a siege engine.

Abilities & Actions

Audit of the Shackle (Channel Divinity)

As an action, Bazzlewick presents his Great Ledger. Each creature of his choice within 30 feet must make a Wisdom saving throw (DC 14). On a failure, the creature is magically restrained for 1 minute as spectral chains of glowing ink bind them. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on a success. This represents the weight of their moral and legal debts coming due.

The Fine Print (Action)

Bazzlewick uses his charcoal pencil to mark a foe's armor or skin. He makes a melee weapon attack. On a hit, the target takes an extra 2d8 radiant damage, and until the start of Bazzlewick's next turn, any attack roll made against the target has advantage, as Bazz highlights the 'loopholes' in their defense.

Divine Smite: Debt Collection

When Bazzlewick hits a creature with a melee weapon attack, he can expend one spell slot to deal radiant damage to the target, in addition to the weapon's damage. The extra damage is 2d8 for a 1st-level spell slot, plus 1d8 for each spell level higher than 1st. He describes this as the 'interest' on the target's violent actions.

Sovereign Protection (Aura)

Bazzlewick and friendly creatures within 10 feet of him can't be charmed or frightened while he is conscious. This aura smells faintly of old parchment and expensive ink, projecting the absolute calm of a balanced budget.

DM Notes

Bazzlewick should be played as the 'straight man' in a chaotic party. He is incredibly helpful but will insist on a 'contract of cooperation' before joining. Voice: A soothing, professorial baritone. Gesture: He constantly polishes his charcoal pencil with a silk cloth or taps his chin while 'calculating' a situation. Reaction: If offered a bribe, he won't get offended; he will examine the coin's purity and ask if it's tax-deductible.